Friday, April 30, 2010


Oh hey, another list that I really like. This one is pretty solid all the way through. But I only copied and pasted a little of each bit. I don't want to be an outright thief here. If you want to read the whole thing (and you should, because it's great) head over to Cracked to see it.


6) Communal Employee Underwear - Up until 2001, Disneyland workers weren't allowed to bring their own underwear when they were in character, because normal underwear tended to bunch up and become visible under the costume. Kind of like how some models don't wear panties on the runway, except less "exotic and sexy" and more "destructive of your innocence and everything the concept of childhood represents."

Instead, cast members were issued company jock straps, cycling shorts or tights, which they had to hand in at the end of every day to be washed with their costumes. Of all the perks you can get pre-faced by the word "company," "jock strap" really falls short--way below "company car" or "company jet," and registering somewhere between "company grave site" and "company lube."

5) Flash Mountain - Splash Mountain gained some notoriety a few years ago for being the premier place (outside of New Orleans and Chatroulette) for wasted people to flash their junk. It got so severe that, in order to combat the trend, Disney created a position solely to search through the ride photos for rogue genitalia before displaying them on the video screens. Don't believe us (or just want to observe boobies in reduced gravity scenarios... you know, for science)? Well, luckily some employees started posting the photos online.

4) The Really Haunted Mansion - Apparently it's somewhat common for a person's dying wish be to have their ashes dumped on Disney rides, most popularly the Haunted Mansion.

3) The Feral Cat Kingdom - See, Disneyland has a secret army of filthy and diseased stray cats that roam the park grounds every night. It all started in the early years of Disneyland when ride operators found themselves sweeping mice out of the attractions and restaurants by the plague-full (isn't that a pleasant idea?). The mouse problem went away when someone suggested letting around 50 cats loose to hunt down the remaining mice, who may or may not have sung beautifully orchestrated songs about hope and enchantment while being devoured.

(note - I went to Disneyland a few years ago and there was a stray cat wandering through one of the miniature sets of the ride with the big whale. I always wondered why... until now!)

2) The Yippie Invasion - On the 6th of August, 1970, about 300 members of the Young International Party (Yippies) descended upon Disneyland to protest against stuff and junk or whatever (we literally could not give a shit long enough to look up the explanation). After taking over Castle Rock, the hippies hoisted the Viet Cong flag, marched down Main Street USA and harassed the marching band while sarcastically singing the theme to the Mickey Mouse Club. In response to this minor annoyance, Disneyland did what any sane, rational company would do in these circumstances: Call in the fucking riot cops.

1) Gay Days - Gay Days is a week or so out of the year where the homosexual community comes together as a group at the Disneyland theme park. It's not sponsored by Disney or anything, they just gather there because no matter who you like to hump, everybody likes roller coasters. This is all anything but surprising. Quite frankly, if anybody is out of place at Disneyland, it's heterosexual adults. Somewhere between mincing about in the Enchanted Castle and doing the Running Man with a cartoon duck, you just lose the ability to be butch about anything. If there's anywhere homophobes have to concede to the presence of homosexuals, it's Disneyland.

Disney steadfastly refuses to acknowledge that Gay Days is a thing (despite tens of thousands of participants), but that doesn't stop them from being the target of mass protest, veiled threats and sometimes even implied violence by the religious right (for... failing to stop it, we guess?).

P.S. I still love Disneyland.

1 comment:

  1. haha, these are great! i looove disneyland so much too, even if there is weird shit happening behind the scenes. i think that makes it even more interesting!

    gay days happens usually over the first weekend in october every year. and it just so happened to fall on the same weekend that we went for halloween time for the past three years. so we experienced it in full force! it was awesome. all the gay dudes were super nice, and pretty funny. we even got to see a "show" in the enchanted tiki room, where a few guys got up and sang and danced along with the real show. it was amazing! and the staff totally didn't mind. i'm sure they love the business (all that extra $$!!). i think they have become much more accepting of this new holiday over the last few years. but if you do go in october... be sure to leave your red shirts at home! haha <3