Friday, June 4, 2010


You meet your soul mate. However, there is a catch: Every three years, someone will break both of your soul mate's collarbones with a Crescent wrench, and there is only one way you can stop this from happening: You must swallow a pill that will make every song you hear--for the rest of your life--sound as if it's being performed by the band Alice in Chains. When you hear Creedence Clearwater Revival on the radio, it will sound (to your ears) like it's being played by Alice in Chains. If you see Radiohead live, every one of their tunes will sound like it's being covered by Alice in Chains. When you hear a commercial jingle on TV, it will sound like Alice in Chains; if you sing to yourself in the shower, your voice will sound like deceased Alice vocalist Layne Staley performing a capella (but it will only sound this way to you).

Would you swallow the pill?

I don't think I could do it.

1 comment:

  1. Every three years is not that bad. I'm sure McCall would understand and bite bullet for me. Plus collarbones only put you out for like a week or two and heal up in like 3 or 4. Now if you said every song would sound like Sublime; I would offer to beak her collarbones myself each year just to be safe.