Wednesday, January 8, 2014


The Satanic Temple is kind of awesome.

I've never really been a fan of Satanism because of the (majority of) idiots that preach it. To me, preaching Satanism is just as annoying as preaching Christianity, which I don't believe in either.

But The Satanic Temple is doing things just a bit differently. A few months ago, they tried to adopt a highway in New York. Now they've got their sights set on something bigger.

Oklahoma state representative Mike Ritze (R - Broken Arrow) recently allowed a Christian group to erect a statue of the Ten Commandments on the statehouse grounds. This didn't go over well with a whole bunch of people and a slew of different groups - including PETA and The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster - demanded that they be represented on the grounds of the statehouse as well. The ACLU immediately filed a lawsuit because of the Ten Commandments statue and the influx of requests, so a moratorium was placed on putting anything else up, but that didn't stop The Satanic Temple from going forward with plans.

They started an IndieGoGo fund to raise money to erect a 7-foot statue of Baphomet seated on a throne with happy children by his side. According to spokesman Lucien Greaves (that made-up name right there is one of my many annoyances with Satanism as a whole) "The statue will also have a functional purpose as a chair where people of all ages may sit on the lap of Satan for inspiration and contemplation."

They were attempting to raise $20,000 and as of this writing, they've surpassed that amount.

While The Satanic Temple is the one spearheading this project, The Church of Satan isn't nearly as enthusiastic. Magus Peter H. Gilmore, the High Priest of that organization said "The statue is crudely designed and ugly to me and seems pedophilic, since the caduceus between the goat’s legs is a phallic symbol. Having children reaching towards a being with an exposed symbolic penis seems to imply that Satanism represents the same situation which has plagued the Roman Catholic and other Christian churches for some time: child abuse. The image appears to show the goat’s left hand possibly caressing the male child. Revolting."

"It occurs to me," Gilmore says, "that the efforts by the perpetrators of this proposal may be intended as a means for making Satanism appear foolish and just as dysfunctional and irrational as we secularists view most other religions to be."

That two groups of Satanists are arguing over the merits of Satanism kind of says it all, I think.

But whatever. I think it's a great idea. I'm all for a Baphomet statue in a city that I don't live in - mostly because I want to see people in Oklahoma freak out if it happens. If this thing does get made, I'll be stopping in Oklahoma on my way to Detroit. I'm all about cool statues.

A sampling of The Satanic Temple's beliefs are below. I've gotta say, they make a pretty strong point. But like all religions, it's probably overrun with bat-shit crazy people that ruin it for everyone else and make it impossible for me to even consider.

The picture up top is what the statue will (*fingers crossed*) look like and below is a brief sample of The Satanic Temple's beliefs.

"To embrace the name “Satan” is to avow skepticism in the face of all things, even — especially — that which is held sacred. To stand forth as a “Satanist” is to rend from the persecutory, affrighted mob a convenient out-group label, demanding that individuals be judged for their concrete actions, not their fealty to arbitrary social norms and illusory categorizations.

Satanism is not mindless abandon and depravity, but a philosophy that drives us to lead fruitful and dignified, epicurean lives. Satan, the symbolic force of design that would urge humanity toward refined pleasures of the Arts and Sciences. Satan, who first brought the fruit of knowledge to Humankind that thereafter we might live not as naked brutes in the wild, but develop our cultural splendor into ever more aesthetically and technologically advanced heights. Ours is the Humanistic Satan who would sacrifice His own Heavenly residence so that Humanity might learn to understand and enjoy the physical world they inhabit.

Satanists are often natural aestheticians who revel in the grandeur of human artistic, architectural achievements while also often drawn to the idiosyncratic and bizarre that are all too typically misunderstood, feared, and discarded.

With compassion, the Satanic Temple accepts all who are just and compassionate."

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