Wednesday, January 20, 2021


It's Inauguration Day (finally), and barring some weird last minute call for Civil War from the outgoing crybaby, someone might be able to start pointing this giant ship that is America in the right direction. We're still in the thick of a pandemic that might get worse before it gets better, but let's look at the bright side. Even if it's just for a minute.

Kamala Harris' husband, Doug Emhoff, is about to become the first Second Gentleman, and he's starting things off on a weird note. For the inaugural celebration, he convinced New Radicals to get back together, and play at the party. They haven't been a band for 20 years. You remember New Radicals, don't you? They had that song, "You Get What You Give" where the video was a guy in a bucket hat instigating a flash mob inside a mall about 15 years before anyone knew what a flash mob was.

I guess he used that track as his walkout song at rallies over the summer, and just loves that band. We won't look too hard at the symbolism in the video, where all the punk kids release the caged animals, and then force the adults to take their place locked behind bars. Emhoff has to be smart enough to know that he identifies way more with the corporate suits in that scenario, but again, we're not going too deep on that.

What this whole thing got me thinking about, is what would happen if I had this kind of power for one day? What if my wife/partner/significant other becomes Vice President, and I have the opportunity to get a band back together for one performance? I'd go nuts trying to decide who to get. I mean, it's not even a possibility for me, and I still spent WAY too much time last night thinking about it. So much so, that I made a playlist.

A lot of bands that I never got the chance to see have no prospect of reuniting because at least one member is dead. That made my list both more difficult and less difficult at the same time, but I finally narrowed it down. 

So here we go.

Handsome is a band that was around for like five minutes in the 90's. Hardly anyone knew them then, and even fewer people remember them now. The singer, Jeremy Chatalain, is from Salt Lake, and I used to live next door to him. This band is so good, but will most likely never play another show unless I call them from Air Force Two.

Most people would probably rather see Jawbreaker if we're getting Blake Shwarzenbach our of retirement, but none of those people are married to the Vice President-Elect. So Jets to Brazil it is.

AFI is still currently a band, but this might be the only way we get them to play any songs from Shut Your Mouth and Open Your Eyes, Black Sails in the Sunset, or the 3 1/2 and All Hallows EP's. 

Faith No More is also still currently together, but will 100% be broken up again by the time I'm in a relationship that lasts long enough for her to go through an entire election cycle in a presidential election year.

Jenny Lewis, Henry Rollins, Karen O, and Into Another would probably be honored, excited, and cool enough to make it happen for me.

Inside Out and Fugazi are straight up telling me "No." Zack de la Rocha is probably at least cordial about it, while Ian MacKaye is just going to laugh at me before he hangs up.

Now listen, I'm fully aware that there are A LOT of things that need to happen before any of this becomes a reality, but just go with it here. You never know.